Ask Why: Islander helps raise awareness of child sexual abuse and mental health

Brave local survivor, Hamish Duncan, has recently completed a personal challenge of walking the Butt to Barra route, to raise awareness of child sexual abuse and mental health, as well as helping raise funds for Counselling & Family Mediation Western Isles, who he credits as helping him at a time when he was at his lowest.

Hamish, 61, who lives in Stornoway, has worked with NHS Western Isles as a Hospital Porter for 13 years, and had been struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts for years, before things came to a head one evening whilst at work.

“I was at a dangerously low point and didn’t feel I could go on.  I just thought my family would be better off without me.” 

“I contacted my line manager who was very supportive, who told me to leave my shift and helped me seek immediate staff counselling support, which was available through the NHS.  After attending the sessions that were available, my wife encouraged me to seek support from Counselling & Family Mediation Western Isles, which I found better suited me.”

It was during these sessions that Hamish recounted painful memories from his childhood, having been sexually abused when he was between 6-11 years old, which he had kept hidden from everyone, except his wife Morag of almost 32 years. 

“As a child, I experienced sexual abuse" explained Hamish, “and in later life this contributed to mental health difficulties. With time, professional help, and the encouragement of those close to me, I’ve been able to make progress, though the journey is ongoing.  I believe it is vital to break the silence that too often surrounds issues of abuse and mental health. No child should ever feel ashamed of speaking out, and no child should have to suffer in silence. Childhood is precious, and every child deserves to feel safe."

He continued, “I am so thankful for Counselling & Family Mediation Western Isles, but it was so difficult to go through and recount.  I then had to inform my family and my siblings, which was a very hard thing to do.  I found telling my kids was the hardest – but they just hugged me without any words; it was a very powerful moment and one I am truly thankful to them for.”

Hamish said he also found his local Church was very supportive; so much so it enabled him to speak at its 2024 suicide awareness event ‘Leave a Light On’ service about his personal experience. 

“I felt completely drained afterwards, but I’m so glad I did it.  The event inspired me to share my story; I just want to help stop any other child going through what I went through.  Afterwards I was approached by individuals, who stated in confidence to me that they also had been sexually abused.”

Hamish added that he has also contacted the Presbytery about speaking to their congregation to encourage others to have the confidence to seek support and be listened to without judgement, but, at this time, has yet to hear back.  In fact, it was whilst out walking that the thought of raising awareness from walking the Butt to Barra was borne.

Sexual abuse is usually hidden from view. A child is sexually abused when they are forced, enticed or persuaded to take part in sexual activities.  It isn't always physical contact, and nowadays also happens online. Sometimes the child won't understand that it is abuse.

According to The University of Edinburgh and Heriot Watt University (Data-Driven Innovation), child sexual exploitation and abuse is growing at an alarming rate, experts say. It is thought around 1 in 20 children in the UK have been sexually abused.  Disturbingly, NSPCC Scotland reports that the latest crime figures show reports of online child sexual abuse and exploitation in Scotland have increased by 21 per cent between 1 April, 2023 and 31 March, 2024.

Adults in the child or young person’s life may not recognise the signs of sexual abuse and the child may be too young, too scared or too ashamed to tell anyone what is happening to them. Child sexual abuse repercussions are damaging and can last a lifetime, ruining relationships, health and long-term wellbeing.

Hamish began his walking challenge on 8th September, undertaking it in stages over 12 consecutive days, along with his walking poles and companion, 11-year-old Collie Bréagha.  However, he almost had to stop on the first day after going over his ankle, but thankfully, and after a day’s rest, he was able to continue his challenge; crediting his job that can see him walking 12 miles a day, depending on shift patterns.

Not wanting to shy away from the subject, Hamish had printed the words ‘ASK WHY’ on the reverse of his hi-vis waistcoat, which had the desired effect with people stopping him to find out, and in turn donating monies.

Even whilst taking a well-earned break onboard the Caledonian MacBrayne vessels between islands, passengers approached him to hear his story, with Hamish particularly recounting one individual who had been sitting quietly nearby, approach him as they disembarked silently giving him a donation.

Asked what he enjoyed the most, Hamish joked “A good soak in the bath!  But on a serious note, I would sincerely like to thank Western Isles Hospital’s Orthopaedic Consultant, Mr. Andre Van Niekerk, as I wouldn’t have been able to undertake this walk without the two new knees I received in recent years – he even encouraged me to do the challenge when I asked his opinion.”

To date, Hamish’s JustGiving page at www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/hamishduncan has reached just his initial £3000 target, but reports there is still time for others to donate, if they wish.

The JustGiving page will remain open until 17th October, with a presentation being made to Counselling & Family Mediation Western Isles during the week commencing 3rd November.

If you have been affected by Hamish's story, Wellbeing Scotland works with children and adults whose lives have been impacted by trauma resulting from child abuse.  For further information tel. 01324 630100 or visit wellbeingscotland.org

In recent years, Police Scotland developed a campaign reminding abusers and potential abusers that they alone are responsible for their actions, and it is up to them to take action and seek help to stop, or get caught. Visit www.lucyfathfull.org.uk/gethelpscotland

If you are concerned about a child, please contact  Police Scotland (tel. 101 for non-emergencies or 999 for emergencies) or the local Children and Families Social Work Team (tel. 01851 822749 or out-of-hours 01851 701702).  You can also visit the NHS Western Isles Public Protection Team at www.wihb.scot.nhs.uk/our-services/public-protection-protecting-people

Pictured: Hamish with Bréagha

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