Bereavement & Loss Support: Supporting Someone Who is Dying

Preparing for bereavement: this can help to have an understanding of what can happen when someone is dying.

The doctors and nurses believe that your relative or friend is now dying. We understand that this can be a sad and difficult time. Our main priorities are making them as comfortable as possible, maintaining their dignity and supporting you.

Staff will discuss with you any decisions about your relative or friend’s care to make sure that you understand the reason(s) for these. Staff will regularly review your relative or friend’s condition and if necessary make any changes to keep your relative comfortable.

Please do not hesitate to ask us if you have any questions or concerns. Also, please tell us if you would like to be more involved in your relative or friend’s care, for example, washing and mouth care.

It can be difficult to predict when someone will die as some people die very quickly without much warning, while others slowly deteriorate over days or weeks. However as death approaches the following may occur:

• loss of appetite, difficulty swallowing and taking medication
• extreme tiredness and weakness
• changes in breathing pattern e.g. noisy breathing or shallow breathing
• changes in body temperature and skin colour
• confusion and, or, agitation.

Support for you

It is often assumed that grief and grieving will only begin after a death. This is not correct. People may begin to experience anticipatory bereavement in the lead up to the death of a friend or relative. And it is important that you take the time to care for yourself and seek support.

All these physical changes can be difficult for you to watch and cope with and we understand that this may be a sad and upsetting time. If you are concerned about anything please speak to the nurse or doctor.

You may feel it is important for you or someone else to be present at all times, but please remember it is also important to take breaks, eat and drink, and to try and sleep.

During this time, whether in hospital, at home, in a hospice or in a care home you may wish to contact a representative from your faith or belief community for support. They are simply concerned to see how you are coping and will be glad to listen to you, hear stories about your relative or friend, and give you support. In hospital, the Chaplaincy Service can also assist with the above and any needs relating to faith or belief.